it's me

cold feet and wet beds

This morning was amazing. Alessio woke up before I did and I came into the kitchen and his sweet little eyes greeted me this morning. I heard a tale about a terrible dream in which Max was mad at him and something horrendous had happened to Thomas the Tank Engine involving a monster. After listening intently I looked at him with excitement and said, "what's today?" "MY BIRTHDAY". The dream was soon forgotten and the presents, cake, and all the big boy things that a five year old can do went flashing through his mind. I then brought to his attention the perfectly wrapped yellow package that sat on the table. I read him the card that was beside the package and then gave the go ahead to begin tearing through the paper. My heart filled with anticipation as well. Memories flashed back of Christmas and birthdays past where I too had the gleefull somewhat savage "present" look in my eyes. The frustration that came along with the paper was soon overtaken with the joy of a beautiful new Cars alarm clock, and for a brief second everything seemed perfect. It is strange how watching the moments that children experience can bring such clarity into the eye of the beholder. These must be some of the moments that parents live for when all the hard parts of taking care of children seem to melt away and nothing but love fills your heart.


Max was in a great mood too this morning and for the first time he didn't ask for his bottle. I was impressed. We then spent the rest of breakfast looking over an American monument pop up book and I taught them the Star Spangled banner (more like I had a theatrical moment in the kitchen using a paper towel roll as my microphone and using the opportunity to sing at the top of my lungs.

I am going to miss them when I leave. I find it strange that the older I get the better I am getting at letting people go but holding memories extremely tight. I am learning that I infact have very little control over this roller coaster of life and the more willing I am to just ride it the easier it seems to be to live.

In other news, Italy is still beautiful. It's getting a little too cold for my taste but I have a beautiful new jacket to take care of that. I have also learned that no matter how calloused and blistered your feet get they still work.

I don't know why I am so joyful right now; it might be all the espresso or maybe it's that clarity moment sticking with me. Either way I hope that I can feel like this for awhile.

la vita e bellissima

Every morning when I wake up and look out my front door I see an ancient Etruscan wall and every time some part of me has forgotten that I am in Italy and that I live in front of this wall and a smile that starts in my heart creeps out onto my face.

I love this place.

I have begun my preparations for leaving. Charolette said that I can have my room back on the weekends and that I can leave my stuff here. That is one less thing that I have to worry about. I can also stay here for a couple of weeks after I finish camp while I am finding work and an apartment.

I am having trouble sleeping but 6 o'clock will come very early tomorrow. O how i love thee espresso!!!!

sore throat

Being a fake mom is pretty exhausting. By the end of the day I find that I cannot even keep my eyes open. I think that all moms deserve a big prize.

My next step in this journey will be going off to Grande Prato, an over night camp that is near Pisa. I am really excited but ofcourse a little bit nervous too as can be expected. I will be with children that range from age 6-12 and I will be teaching predominantly theatre which is mainly based of games and we have to come up with some kinda skit that will be performed at the end of the week. The thing that I am the most nervous about is teaching English but I am sure that it will be ok. It's mainly the days of the week and "how are you?", "i'm fine" and so on and so on. I am hoping that I can knock this cold so that I will be ready to spend my whole day requlating kids and singing really fun songs and hopefully telling some ghost stories.

I have done some shopping while I was here. I bought some sweaters and a really amazing jacket that I love alot. I love shopping in Italy because everything is priced properly. You don't pay alot for something that is going to fall apart and if you buy something really cheap, you have an idea that it is not going to last forever. The shoes are a constant temptation here. I need a new pair of boots but i am going to hold off until I am making some money.

I helped Kierston, one of the American girls here, find an apartment and I am hoping that when I get back there will be a room still open so that I can live there too because it is not insanely expensive and in an amazing location. This week I also need to put an add up at informa giovani saying that i can help tutor in english. There are some other opportunites that have been made available to me and I am hoping that one of them will work out. Tutoring is always an option and there might be a place open at an english school here in arezzo, and i am also hoping that the university that i gave so much money to will buck up and give some of it back to me for all the work that i have done here with the American students.

I have been really exhausted lately and I think alot of it comes from the fact that I am always thinking about what is coming next. There is alot of unknowns, not bad unknowns, but things that i cannot control and so desperately want to. I love this country, I love speaking a different language and the challenges that living here present and I hope that i dont have to leave any time soon. Anyway I am happy and pretty healthy and I have a really sweet jacket.

Love you all.

a presto

Amanda

this is how we do BBQ Italian style




this is the marvelous Charolette, la mamma di Max e Alessio



this is Kierston, she's way cool and i spend alot of time with her.



this is Andy, hard at work BBQing. It was kinda dark outside so he had this sweet head light that he had to wear.




this is Max and Alessio, they are pretty amazing, i am super lucky to get to stay with them all day.

pancakes and sticky hands

Today is one of the first days that I feel kinda helpless being here. I have to get the boys ready and to the bus stop by 8:30 and there is a ten minute walk to the bus stop and today I felt like we were running a little late so we quickly moved along until Max started crying and I had to carry him the rest of the way. When we got to the bus stop we were early so the rush wasn't even worth it and I felt bad that I esentially had made Max cry because I wasn't being patient enough with him. We stayed at the bus stop for about ten minutes before the bus came and when the bus arrived I realized that I forgot the stuff that I was supposed to bring that Max needed to give to his teacher. I also needed to ask if they could eat at the school. I asked he said that we needed to call the school which we had already done and the only reason I needed to ask again was because they didn't get to eat at the school on Friday because the bus got there too early. Now I am worried that this bus driver does not know that he is supposed to take them home, but when you are speaking a foreign language and it is hard for people to understand you, sometimes it is easy to get flustered and I didnt even think to tell him that they would be getting a ride home on the bus. I just hope that the bus picks them up if it doesnt it is going to present a rather difficult situation for me. All this being said I am sure that everything will be fine and I will feel stupid for worrying but I for some reason after this situation occured I felt really defeated and I dont know exactly why, it is the first time that I have felt like that since I have been back.

In other news this weekend was awesome. We went out Friday night and Andy, one of the American boys locked his keys in his apartment, silly boy. I did it when I lived in Florence but I still gave him shit about it.

Saturday I went shopping and I bought a sweet Paddington Bear hat, a belt, and a pair of shoes that were on super sale. All with money that I didnt really have so thats great.

Saturday night we had an awesome BBQ at my house and a bunch of my Italian friends and the two Americans from OU came over. It was awesome because it was the first time that i got to play hostess for my Italian friends. I had a great time. We went bar hopping afterwards and met some really awesome English guys who were here for a bachelor party week. They are all musicians and were fun to talk to.

Sunday wasnt terribly eventful, mainly just watching movies and hanging out. SOOOO.... pretty much this is my life and I love it. I am going to access the situation that I am in here after I work at Canadian Island and i think by that time i will have a better idea of how long i would like to be here. I miss you all and hope that everything is going great.

a presto

un bacio a tutti

Amanda

i HATE "thomas the tank engine" and i know that hate is a strong word.

soooo.....

i have been here for a week now but it feels like i never left. everything has fallen right back into place, except i feel alot more comfortable and i am not living in a house with four other girls without a mirror. i live in the basement of my professors house and there is actually internet and the shower works, i dont ahve a closet but the spiral staircase that leads up to the rest of the house is a great place to hang things up. i love it here i find so much clarity and it is so beautiful and i feel healthier because the food is soo fresh and delicious and i walk all the time. i highly suggest that everyone should come live here at some point in there life.

i am working on getting some postcards off. i swear that before i leave you will all get one, those of you who sent their addresses to me.

i have been with two fabulous little boys every day of this week for pretty much all day and it makes me want to thank my mom tenfold for putting up with me. they are fabulous little boys and i adore them but they are really exhausting. I am looking forward to the weekend when i can walk around the city and go out and have a good time.

the other americans here are great and everything is looking like it will be good

i go to teach at a camp outside of pisa in two weeks. i am a little nervous but excited at the same time, i know that it is going to be hard work but i love children and theatre so teaching it will be amazing.

i hope that everyone is great more later

So I am here.... so far so good.

I was in an airplane for 12 hours, I went from Dallas to Frankfurt and then from Frankfurt to Rome, then I had to take a train from Rome to Arezzo and then a taxi to my house. Everything went well, nothing got lost in the process and me and my freaking heavy 50 pound bag made it safely....yay !

I arrived at 9:30 at night and all i wanted to do was sleep so I did just that. Today I woke up very early and had an awesome breakfast and went to run some errands with Charolette ( the wife of my professor) and her two little boys, Max who is three and Alessio who is four but almost five. I start watching them on Wednesday and I think that it will be alot of fun, lots of sidewalk chalk, parks, gelato, and i must not forget Thomas the Tank Engine. I brought the little ones fruit snacks and they are the talk of the town. They dont exist here so they are something to be cherished.

I saw my friend Giulia and I was surprised by how quickly my Italian is coming back to me. Normally I have trouble conversing with her friends but today it was not that difficult as long as they were talking one at a time and not all at the same time. The month away let my Italian kinda sit in my head and I was finally able to reflect on all that I learned. I felt very overwhelmed the last time that I was here so the break was much needed. I don't think I realized how much I miss her and all of her friends. Giulia is younger than I am but most of the time I forget that because she holds herself with a level of maturity. I do not feel the same fear to speak that I used to feel the last time that I was here. I found it terrifying and this time I find it much more satisfying and useful. It is a big step for me to say that I am not as afraid to be wrong anymore.

I have yet to meet the other American girl but hopefully I will meet her and the other local college students soon.

It was easy to forget how beautiful this place is and how much I love it when I was home surrounded by all the things that make me comfortable, but coming back reminds me of all the reasons that I never wanted to leave in the first place.

There is a joust going on this weekend. It is a really big deal, all the people in the town are wearing the flag of their district and there are people in medieval garb in the streets and the city is absolutely packed.

Well I love all of you and miss you, please email me and keep me up to date with your lives.

Baci.

a presto,

Amanda